There is rain, and then there is the sky falling down on top of you.
It didn’t matter how hard I squinted my eyes. I still couldn’t see a thing. But I didn’t care. The wet combination of sweat and sunscreen left my eyes burning like an open flame. I didn’t care about that either. With tears and rain streaming down my face, salty and sweet drops seemed to be taking turns in reaching my lips.
It doesn’t happen that often, but sometimes life steps up to give you Oscar-worthy chronology. This was one of those moments.
Less than an hour earlier I had left Malaysia. A country suffering from a historical hot season and drought. Forced to close schools as well as the water supply for whole cities. Then, literally one step across the border – the sky burst. And so did I.
I did have a place to go. But as I’ve told you twice already – I didn’t care. With the rain pounding down on my head and shoulders, I did what I always do. I mounted my bike and started peddling. Along whatever road I was on – I cycled. Fast. Without the intention of getting anywhere – I pushed my pedals. One after another. Harder and harder.
Heart racing. Tears flowing.
I love how my well my body serves me. Doing whatever it can to let me go though with all the madness my mind comes up with. This though, had nothing to do with providing oxygen to muscles or protecting eyes from salt. This was something completely different.
This was emotion.
‘I actually did it. I cycled to fucking Singapore.’
Crying like a baby. Laughing like a mad person. Shouting from the top of my lungs. Peddling. And going nowhere.
Living.
Rain, rain, rain. Big, heavy drops turning roads into rivers. But this wasn’t any rain. This was my entire journey falling down from the sky. The high mountains. The deserts. The people. The fear. Joy. The hardships that only I know of. And the secret gems that I’ll never tell anyone.
Pride, and relief. Utter happiness, and undefined sorrow. Everything, all at once.
Too much for to deal with then and there. So I didn’t.
Instead peddled. Hard and without stopping. I faced the sky to let the rain drops break towards my skin. Still blind. Still halfway to a heart attack. On one hand this was all too much. But it was also just one small thing.
This was a girl – and the simple joy of riding a bicycle.
Life? I love you so, so much.
Fredrika
PS.
Australia. You’re next!